thirsty

We've all been thirsty before.  When I get back from a run, all I want is a long drink of water.  Nothing else sounds as good.  This past weekend, I listened to my sister share the story of the woman at the well in John 4.  Like anyone else who is human, she got thirsty.  Only, her solution to the problem was not just to turn on the faucet and get a drink, or pull out a nice cold pitcher from the fridge.  If she wanted water, she had to go get it from the local well.  It was a hot, daily task, but without it, she would not be able to drink.
So, she packed up, grabbed her water jar, and headed to the well to quench her thirst.  Only, she had no idea all that was waiting for her when she got there.  As she was throwing down her jar to have it filled, Jesus came up to her and asked for a drink.  His request shocks her:  He was a Jew, and she was a Samaritan.  The two never mixed...and most Jews wouldn't have dared to be near a Samaritan, let alone ask to drink after one.  She can't believe He would ask such a thing of her, and she tells Him as much.  His response is somewhat ironic:  He says that if she only knew who He was, she would be asking Him for living water. 
There's so much in this story...it's one of my favorites.  But as I listened to Jessie share it this weekend, I saw something new about it, something that had never stuck out to me before.
I couldn't help but think of another story about wells, this one in Jeremiah 2:13.  The Lord is talking to Jeremiah about His people.  He says they have committed two evils:  the first is that they have forsaken Him.  Israel was constantly choosing anything but the Lord, other gods, the strength of man, their own idolatries.  Over and over throughout their history, they can be seen rejecting the grace and love of the Lord. 
The result of this leads to their second sin:  the Lord says they have made for themselves their own cisterns (another word for wells).  What's even worse is that these cisterns, these wells that are supposed to hold life-giving sustaining water, are broken.  They hold nothing.  So not only has Israel chosen to forsake their God, they have chosen to forsake Him for empty, meaningless things.
How often do we do that?  What do I work and work to fill myself with, only to find it doesn't fill at all?  Jobs, relationships, appearance, money, status, things, performance?  Empty...they are empty, all of them!  None of them will satisfy, because none of them was designed to fill me...none of them are the Lord.
I love that this woman at the well chose the other way.  She realized that what the Lord had to offer her was so much more than anything else she had run after.  The words of John 4:28 sum it up perfectly, "So the woman left her jar and went away into the town..."  She didn't need her water jar anymore...she had been filled with the water of life.
I pray you might be filled as well...

true grit...

Growing up, Jessie and I were some of the few girls in the world who could actually quote John Wayne movies.  Our Daddy got us hooked.  One of his favorites was True Grit, the story of Sheriff Rooster Cogburn who stands as a man of integrity in the midst of people who are anything but.  It's his willingness to hang in there in spite of hard things, to hold firm no matter what that makes him a man of true grit.
Believe me when I say that I'm not trying to spiritualize Rooster Cogburn.  But I did think about his grit as I was reading this morning.  David is the writer of Psalm 86, and is pouring his heart out to the Lord in the midst of trials.  Verse 14 says that "insolent...ruthless men" are running after his very life.  He turns to the Lord as his only hope, clinging to the steadfast love and faithfulness of his God.
Here's the part where true grit comes in.  It would make sense to us if David wrote this psalm to complain about his circumstances, or to show that he deserved pity because of them.  But his words could not be farther from that.  With absolute tenacity, he declares to the Lord in verse 11, "For You alone are great and do wondrous things; You alone are God."
Really?  In light of all the things he could choose to say, David chose to praise the Lord, to declare that He does wondrous things.
Where does such grit, such strength, such fortitude come from?  It came first from the depth of David's heart, from the knowledge that his God was above all, unlike any other, "There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours," (verse 8).  And then it came from asking.  In verse 11, he says, "Teach me your way, O Lord , that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name."  David asked the Lord to unite his heart to trust nothing but Him.
And like David, I pray that my heart will be united completely to the Lord, that nothing will sway me from believing that He is great and all of His works are wondrous...

Immanuel

Immanuel is a word we usually associate only with Christmas time.  We think about the birth of Christ, sing songs about it, and then put it away for another year.  But, that was the theme of my heart as I read yesterday morning in Isaiah seven.
Ahaz is the king of Judah, when Israel and Syria decide to press in and attack.  Think of it as Canada and Mexico joining forces to attack the United States.  It wasn't like doing war overseas...these countries were right next to Judah...they were powerful, and they were coming quickly.  And Ahaz was afraid (I can't say that I blame him).  Isaiah, who is the messenger of the Lord, comes to the King with words of encouragement, straight from YAHWEH, who promises that the alliance between Syria and Israel is a temporal thing, that they will soon face their end.  Through the voice of Isaiah, He tells Ahaz to trust Him, He will prove faithful to the people of His covenant.
But rather than being comforted by the very presence and faithfulness of the Lord, Ahaz chooses to put his trust in men.  He decides to create an alliance with Assyria to help protect him and his country from the oncoming threat.
Again, the Lord comes to Ahaz through Isaiah.  This time, he tells him to ask for a sign...anything at all.  In every way, the Lord is offering Ahaz a chance to strengthen his faith:  ask of the Lord, see Him prove faithful, and then realize you can put your trust in Him.  Ahaz, however, refuses, not out of humility or because he realizes that he can trust the Lord, but because his mind is made up.  And so, the Lord responds:  "Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign.  Behold, the virgin will conceive and bear a son, and will call His name Immanuel." (Isaiah 7:14)
Immanuel...it means, "God is with us."  God is with us.  In every way, this sign, the promise of Immanuel fulfilled everything Ahaz refused to put his faith in.  Even when the Lord promised to be with him, Ahaz still chose to trust in men.  Several hundred years later, Jesus came, conceived by a virgin, to be the fulfillment of the promise Ahaz missed:  He was indeed our Immanuel, our God with us.
I don't want to be like Ahaz.  I don't want to miss out on the faithfulness and presence of my Savior, choosing instead to trust in other things:  people, myself, money, things...  I don't think the promise of Immanuel is a one-time thing.  He is still our God with us, our glory, our hope, our treasure. 
And in reality, it's not really the Christmas story, as much as it is the Gospel.  And the Gospel is always in season.

praise...in all things

At times, praise is such an easy thing.  There are moments where it just flows from us:  as we look all around, we find things for which we should praise the Lord:  health, finances, provision, beauty, relationship, safety, creation...(and the list can go on, and on).  But, there are times where it doesn't just flow from us, times where we don't recognize anything to worship or give thanks for.
I read this morning in Psalm 89.  It's pretty long, so I won't quote it.  But the whole thing is Israel recounting the steadfast love and faithfulness of the Lord.  Over and over they talk of the covenant He has made with them and the house of David...a covenant to sustain them, to grow them, to keep them in Him.  In fact, the very first verse says that they will, "sing of the steadfast love of the Lord forever" and will with their mouths "make known His faithfulness to all generations."  Their words drip with the worthiness of Him, who has proven Himself so faithful to His Word and His name.  His goodness has completely overwhelmed them, and they recognize that there is none like Him.  In light of all that, why wouldn't they praise Him?  It's somewhat of a no-brainer...God has been so good to us, it just makes sense to thank Him...to rejoice in Him.
But then the Psalm changes.  For some reason left unknown to us, the end verses of the Psalm tell us they are suffering the wrath of God.  All of a sudden, praise wouldn't be so easy, would it?  At least not for me...that would be the last thing on my mind as I suffered punishment.  Again, it just makes sense...
But that's not what happens.  As the end of the Psalm tells of the people going through their punishment and judgment, there is no mention of grumbling or cursing.  Instead, they call again on the Lord's faithfulness, remind Him of His covenant with them, and then continue to praise Him.  The very last verse says, "Blessed be the Lord forever..."
The point is not just that we praise Him in all things...the point is why we praise Him:  for who He is, for His name, His word, His purposes in us.  Israel stayed mindful of that, and because they did, could joyfully proclaim, "Blessed be the Lord forever!"
I don't know where your life is, or what you find yourself going through:  grief, sorrow, difficulty, punishment...I don't know.  The point is that in all these things, we recognize Him as worthy and praise Him as such...regardless of what things are like for us...

...my baby girl...and the beauty of the Cross

I met my baby girl on Friday.  I still can't get over how perfect she is.  Not perfect in the sense that she will do no wrong (although right now her record is pretty spotless :)...but perfect in the sense that she is everything the Lord has designed her to be.  Everything about her proclaims the glory of His grace.  I couldn't stop staring at her.  She's so beautiful, so full of life already.  Every picture we have, she has her feet over her head, showing off how well she bends and moves.  She made sure to yawn at us and even tried to suck her thumb.  Like I said...perfection.
As I sat there watching her, I was overwhelmed with so much humility.  Nothing within me deserves such a treasure.  I will never understand why the Lord would choose to bless me with such a gift.  And in all reality, there is no rhyme or reason to it...none of it.  It only comes by His grace, nothing else can be the source.  It probably sounds really weird to say that looking at my precious daughter on a sonogram makes me think of the Cross, but it does.  For the Cross is the epitome, the fountain of grace.  My precious, glorious, sinless Savior was hung upon it--He who was perfect, who knew no sin, took my sin and put it upon Himself; His righteousness became mine, and in the eyes of God Himself I, who had once been a sinner, was now seen as completely pure and innocent before Him. 
As one who has been completely covered in that grace, I must see it in everything, realizing that everything is from my Father.
I pray you might see that grace in everything...whether it's the precious yawns of a baby girl, the beauty of a sunrise, or the provision of finances for another day, all things come from Him, and all things are by the grace of His Cross.  May you find yourself completely enthralled with the beauty of it all.

a little closer than I think ...

Far too often, I find myself so quick to judge.  And far too often in those moments, I find myself so quickly convicted...often, about the same thing I was judging.
I was reading this morning in Isaiah.  The Lord is condemning His people because they have chosen to wake up early and go to bed late, running after wine, feasts, music...everything. The culmination of it all?  They have failed to regard Him at all (Isaiah 5:11-12).
Immediately I judge, shaking my head at Israel, wondering how in the world they could choose such foolish things over God Himself, and so thankful that I never make such a choice.  I don't do anything as bad as that, right?
And then it hit me...I do that in so many ways, far more often than I want to admit.  How many times do I choose doing something for work over my time with the Lord?  How often do I allow myself to be distracted by Facebook, my blog, or cleaning...?  How many times a day do I choose anything over the Lord?  The answer shows I am far too close to Israel than I want to be.  Just like them, I give no regard for the Lord
I pray you won't find yourself in such a place...to where that can be said of you as well.  But, if you do, I pray we all might realize the urgency of getting to the place where there is no doubt we completely regard Him in all things.

...sour grapes

I really probably could win the Worst Mom of the Year Award.  Today, was definitely one such day.  I know that my words are wringing wet with selfishness, but sometimes I am so scared to be a mom.  Parenting is a huge responsibility.  What if I don't know what it means when my baby cries?  What if I don't know how to take care of him or her?  What if I can't handle the responsibility?  What if I can't do this?  What if I can't do it well at all?
To be truthful, sometimes my fears get the best of me.  Sometimes, I'm so scared that I'd rather not try.  It's going to be hard at times.  It's going to mean change, lots of change.  It's going to take a lot out of me and of Kade.  And while I know that getting to be a mother and a parent is going to be such an amazing privilege and gift, there are moments where I'm so afraid, I would just rather not face it all.
Those were my thoughts anyway as I was trying to have my quiet time this morning.  Over and over my heart beat out that I just can't do this...I can't do it. 
Like I said, my words show my absolute selfishness.  In every way, they are all about me.  I finally began to read, begging the Lord to give me something, anything.  And He did, although it wasn't quite what I had expected.  I was reading in Isaiah 5, and the first two verses tell how the Lord planted a vineyard,   In these verses, the vineyard is Israel, His people.  They tell of how He so lovingly works on them, fertilizes them, clears away everything that will hinder growth.  He pours Himself into them, in the hopes that they will produce good, perfect fruit.
But they didn't.  Instead, they produced sour grapes, that are good for nothing.  If you read the chapters before, their "sourness"  is because of their desire to go their own way, to reject the leading of the Lord and the covenant He has made with them.  Instead, they chose the gods of other nations, their own desires.  In spite of all the Lord had done to grow them, they chose something.  And the result:  sour grapes.
It hit me as I was reading:  I don't want to be like Israel.  With all my heart, I believe the Lord brings things into our life that He uses to grow us, to continue to shape us to be more like Him, a fruit worthy of harvest.  I have no doubt that my perfect, precious baby is going to be one of the most beautiful, sanctifying things in my life.  And so, rather than rejecting the cultivation of the Lord for my own desires, I pray that I might allow Him to grow and to prune me into fruit worthy of Him.
And I rejoice even more that He would use my child for such a gift.  And in spite of the fears motherhood gives me, I will enter into it with absolute joy, completely humbled that He would grant me such a treasure.