...to the end of myself...

Having a newborn just teaches you alot.  I highly recommend it for almost everyone, at some point in their life, even if it's just watching someone else's for a few hours.  I couldn't even begin to list all the lessons the Lord has used Selah to teach me.
Lessons like what it means to truly surrender my life to His sovereignty and His purpose.  I loved the idea of thinking that my life and my time were mine.  And then He gave me my sweet baby girl.  Overnight, things changed...alot.  All of a sudden I was spending the majority of my day nursing, changing diapers, and trying to figure out how to be a mommy.  There have been (and I know there will be...) many times where I have thought, "I can't do this right now," countless times where I had missed the freedom I once thought I had, moments where I felt completely drug to the end of myself, unable to go much further.
Those moments have turned out to be the most glorious thing that could have happened to me.  It's in being brought to the end of me that I have realized the Lord wants to me exactly that:  that I am finite, limited...I have an end.  Those times have brought me running to Him faster than anything else, coming completely face to face with the fact that He alone is my strength, my portion, my hope, my sustenance.  I can't believe that I can eventually get all of this right on my own, or that I'll eventually have it down pat.  Instead, I have to cling to the very God who is the way, the truth, and the life for me.  And in each of those moments, I am more fully aware of the very grace that has made it all possible:  grace straight from the Cross and my precious Savior, grace that reminds me I don't have to get it right to come to Him...I just have to come.
And realizing that has given me an even greater freedom.  When I realized what it means to completely and fully rely on Him, I became even more aware of what it means to freely offer myself in worship to Him.  You see, I was guilty of claiming my time and my life as my own.  The truth is, however, that even my very seconds and minutes belong to Him.  And so, I will offer them up to Him as a glorious sacrifice, realizing that doing so is a sweet act of worship to His holy name.
These words from David sum it up so well:
"Blessed are you, O Lord, the God of Israel our father, forever and ever.  Yours, O Lord is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours.  Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.  Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all.  In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and give strength to all.  And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name."  (1 Chronicles 29: 10-13)
And so today, may you find yourself completely brought to the end of yourself, realizing that you do have an end.  May that truth drive you to depend on the One who knows no end, who holds our lives and purposes in His completely capable hands.  May realizing this make you so incredibly grateful for grace that has set us free, free to offer our lives back to Him, knowing always that they are His.  May you realize and do all of that in a spirit of such thankfulness and worship, striving always for the glory His name deserves.  And may that all bring such joy, joy greater than you have ever known.